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The key to happiness is lowered expectations
The best argument against democracy
You're every nice word I can think of
When you can't change the direction of the wind
When a man opens car door for a woman
Personal record for most days lived
If you think women are the weaker
Kids are like pancakes
Just because I don't care
Physics formulas about life
Being an ugly girl is like being a man
Arguing with an engineer
Mondays aren't so bad, it's your job that sucks
Cover your mouth please, I think you have stupid
Barack Obama on CNN
Nicki Minaj: I have plenty of talent
People said I was dumb, but I proved them
Marriage is like a deck of cards
The secret to creativity
Why we should legalize marijuana
I only drink to make you more interesting
It's Sunday. I don't move on Sundays.
Gold digger or not
I'm not saying I hate you
Money and religion
Global Warming: Mixed feelings in Scotland
Drunk texts are not annoying
We learn from history that we never learn
Nietzsche on God
Internet doesn't make you stupid
Phil Dunphy marriage advice
I'm really good at stuff
Those who believe in death will die
If we don't learn from History Channel
Love or UFO
Skim milk is water that is lying
Girls are supposed to dance
Jealous woman and the FBI
Don't cry over spilled milk
If beer and women aren't the answer
I would lose weight, but I hate losing
I love sleeping so much...
Ron Swanson on failed businesses
We are all homos
The thing about smart guys
Men don't grow up, they just get bigger
Oh, they said run...
It wasn't going to work
Explaining a joke
My laziness is exactly as the number 8
Stephen Colbert on being a Christian nation
What did the spring door stopper say
5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian roulette
Success is the best revenge
Nothing is written in stone
What Tetris taught me
I think I'm emotionally constipated
Friday. My second favorite F word.
Cats are like girls
Benjamin Franklin on wine, beer and water
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